I am in Sinai. On the beach, in a little shack. Eating, reading Dostoevsky, listening to Bedouin music by the fire, slowly slowly meeting people, talking about the soul-- Soul of Man, Soul of Nations, Soul of WanderingStu.
I am reminded again that, whatever the word means, wherever the path leads, whatever preparations are needed, whatever clothing and certifications and the like are involved-- I am on a path to become a Rabbi. People who have never spoken to me somehow see it in my eyes. It is not a choice so much as the essential situation. And so I embrace that, and will take the steps necessary to fulfil that aspect of my destiny, whether it be to finish HUC quick and dive into work, to spend years at Bat Ayin or to meet a whirling mystic and follow him across the sands. Whatever it be, I see that I can't hide from the fact that my being was shaped to help others, to guide them, to inspire them to, as one beautiful little person recently told me, "Light up people's hearts."
But I reckon all that is better done if I am committed to it, "with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my beingness." So a prayer that all those elements are aligned, driven and FILLED with holy fire-- soon soon, and in our time!
Selah.
There's a good chance that, before returning to the Yeshiva for the spring, I will spend some of this terrifying winter at a Rainbow Healing Retreat here in Sinai. Rather than run to Sinai for a week of indolence, it might be wise to use the momentum of this trip to actually confront myself and my Creator in a deep way, the way Moses did out here, the way Elijah did, the way the Children of Israel did when they came of age at the mountain.
That's all for now.
Be well, and be in love, friends.
5 comments:
holy fire, eh?
what are your plans for mid to late March? I'm hoping you take a break and come home before the nuclear war with Iran starts.
good luck on your search...
wow. well, all i can say, is that if you are ever able to harness all that love and light and spark that is our wonderful wanderingstu,(and of course, i pray that this will be so, and know that it will) then, reguardless of helping, or guiding, or shaping others, reguardless of whether you figure all those specifics out right now, you will be the type of rabbi that i have always dreamed of having.
i think that it's a great funnel to channel all of this stuff into. it's good that you're commited to finishing that path, and think it's good that you're taking true advantage of this journey along the way, and not just starting it out with the sole purpose of the end destination(much like i viewed grad school). this journey will enable you to serve the role that awaits you at the end, and i think it's wonderful that you're being true to yourself, and those that love you, and have yet to meet you, that you are traveling in this way, physically and spiritually.
you know how i feel about you, and i think it's so wonderful that you have an avenue to funnel the stu that is you into- and help really enact change and growth in the others whose lives you come in contact with, whose lives touch you too. it's amazing how we can really effect change in the lives of others just by being who we are, but sometimes we have to be in a position to impact change in people who aren't in our personal circle(like my students, or your future students of torah)- and you're positioning yourself to be able to do this in a wonderful way.
love,
jennifer
Dear Stu,
In reference to petra-fried....Loved the picture of Esta raising her hand for permission to go to the bathroom. Just like me at my job asking permission to leave the bench to pee. The best of pictures is the animal you are riding....What was its name??? Back in the states, we talk to asses but in your case you are lucky to take a ride on an ass!!!! All kidding aside, with much love and admiration on your challenge to become that special person....I hope with all my heart and goodness that you are able to find wandering stu....Love always BURT
WOW!!!
sounds good
light up your heart by "lighting up peoples hearts"
amen. and amen again.
we can never be 100% positively certain of why we are here, but not hiding from why we think we are here is the very best way to start.
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