The Ultimate Ends of Strict Logic is the Nothingness of Love

Or something like that-- good thing I'm not a philosopher: those guys are all about the catchphrases.

The Gemara (the Talmud), employs wild contortions of deep deep logic to prove various positions of Divine Law. All sides of a case are explored, torn apart, and, very often, shown to follow a brilliant course of rational proof. I say that it's night, you say that it's day, and we both prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that our position (savara) is right.

And thus, God's will is interpreted and brought down into the world as a somewhat ascertainable reality.

Of course, the true essence of the Holy One, BBH, is ungraspable to finite creatures, transcendent beyond language, ultimately hidden. The true name of God-- the Yud-Heh-Vav-Heh is unspeakable -- encompassing all Creation, and yet infinitely greater and deeper than it.

And then there's love (among other human frailties...). I have, in the past, in times of emotional crisis, explored the viability of a love relationship by using the incisive logic style of the Gemara, developing savaras for every possible position: it's good; it's no good; it'll get better; it's broken beyond belief; we should be married; i'm in love; i'm not in love but we should get married anyway; she makes great tamales; i'll never be loved again; what would esta say......

and in that way, on the page ("inside," as we say in yeshiva), this Talmudic logic works, proves that the ultimate truth of each and every position IS the supreme Emet (emes- "truth"). Therefore, since every contradictory position is the Ultimate Truth-- the Ultimate Truth is a giant self-contradiction, which cancels out all reasoning, and reveals itself to be-- NOTHING.

Nothing in my mind, at least.

It's as if, by using all of our mental faculties to bring God into the world, we've succeeded by showing that God, The Holy One of Being, is the very negation of all thought, all logic.

{hey-- it's 1:00am after a long day. you didn't come to wanderingstu.com for sensicality anyway. quit sniggering and read on}

And so, logic ultimately fails the test. analysis goes out the window, and just have to DO God's Will, and then figure it out. The Book of Names (Exodus) has the People Israel responding to God's command-- Na'aseh v'Nishma!! "We'll do it!! Then we'll figure it out..."

[yo-- i'm talking about love and Gemara, not killing people or stealing or beating up old ladies-- in those cases, use some damn logic]

[yo-- chances are, i don't even KNOW what I'm talking about. that's why I'm becoming a rabbi...]

So you move with the gut, and pursue the Emes. And when you reach the Throne of Glory, before which ALL is Revealed and Known, you say "Amen, Selah! Ain't the Lord Good!?"
And if your gut is all tangled up-- uh, well, uh, my unsubtle message to the Universe is-- pursue love & connection, for they are the highest values.

And when you fall on your face and forget there even EXISTS a Throne of Glory-- then Rebbe Nachman says "Azam'ra l'Elohai b'Odi-- I shall sing out to My God with what little I have left."

Sing on, holy fools and friends.

and if anyone made sense of any of this, let me know. because i'm not proofreading tonite.

hold on to faith in faith

someday i will throw up. my questions. and thoughts on faith. for now, that previous post is just like a little dangling skin tag or vestigial organ or preemie in a Jar.

Don't forget to read the comments on these posts, especially if you have posted a comment-- sometimes someone brilliant (or perverse or rapacious) will comment on your comment. What fun.

Today is Thursday, Yom Hamishi (day 5) of the week. Tomorrow I go to Jerusalem, as I do almost every Shabbat, to be a part of a new minyan that prays together in my neighborhood on Shabbat. Besides having a coveted seat on the minyan's Council of Elders, I am the Gabbai, which means that I make announcements, push guys out of the way when they are obstructing the ladies' walkway, keep my eye out that everyone is happyish and comfortable. Most importantly, I run the Torah service, assigning aliyahs and giving blessings in a way that I would describe as amateurish, but my friend Raz, who is the Rav of the minyan (but don't tell him that) calls, "filled with wonder."

To which a friend of mine added (in my voice) -- "I wonder what I'm supposed to do up here."

Shabbat Shalom!!!

tell someone you love them today. Even if you don't mean it. (no-- mean it)

what the hell is faith??

more to come... until then, yiyeh tov-- it's all good

The Gemara is

real milk chocolate- I love that Hershey bar.

Actually, The Gemara Requires:
deep concentration, creative thinking, patience, energy, fire, the ability to read Aramaic and Hebrew interspersed, a sharp legal mind, durability, endurance, other words based on the (presumably Latin) root dur.

Wanderingstu Has:
a scattered mind, flighty dreams, visions of love, rock n roll on his lips, mild depressive episodes, a lack of patience, and someone elusive and lovely on his mind.

Wanderingstu's encounter with today's Gemara was:
brief, frustrating and unsatisfying.

If a bull chews on a child's hand- evaluate the value of the limb according to the going rate in the slave market. But in Babylonia we do not assess fines, so why even evaluate?

Good question.

the pain of his sinister lies

So I warned Esta ahead of time, but several other sweet friends took me too seriously, so I will have to issue the following statement for the record:

I am not engaged to a 19-year old. I am not a rabid Arab Hater. I am not a radical religious fanatic.

I am living at Bat Ayin right now. We are kinda wacky out here, but nothing to be afraid of. I am considering leaving HUC for good and pursuing Rabbinicism here in the hills.

Funny little typo: At first i typed "I am considering leaving HUC for god..." But it was inadvertent.

By the way-- my cousins Doug & Stacy just had a baby!! MAZAL TOV!! Sophie Lauren Weiner. She is little and tiny and cute and she is my first cousin once removed.

Praise the Lord.

(by the way-- i am still holding a bitter and babyish attitude towards the rest of you, fanatacism or not)

for the first time, Stu is frank and overemotional

Besides my wonderful aunt barbara (the redneck), it seems that no one gives a big fat rat butt about wanderingstu.com . being neurotic and isolated on a hill in the west bank with a bunch of ultra-orthodox warriors, i feel the need for some love from my old school gang all the more acutely. even my mom and sister don't read the blog. my own sister doesn't even email me. even elijah, who i dressed and bathed and taught how to pee standing up doesn't email me. tommy is probably passed out somewhere in the Mission, so he has an excuse, but otherwise, the only thing sadder than my friends abandoning me is the ridiculous babyish way in which i am whining about it. but it's true. i could list names, but i won't.

so i thought i'd let you know here, since you never write:

i quit HUC, am moving to Bat Ayin full time to claim the land in the name of Hashem, who promised it to our forefathers. the rabbis here have introduced me to a nice young girl, Rivka Sarah. She is 19, and is almost done with her army service. we met and had coffee a week ago, then i took her to dinner last night, and after shabbat i am going to propose to her. i will be learning here for the next 5 years, then i will be an orthodox rabbi, after which i will, with God's help, move to Hebron to help keep the enemy away from the Maarat Machpelah, the tomb of our ancestors Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov. the arabs think it is theirs, and i am ready to fight for the truth.