I think about posting every day, every night. I challenge myself with ideas of newer, more revealing content. I imagine myself opening up and sharing all of my thoughts, experiences, struggles, my questions, hypocrisies & doubts. I imagine it to be cathartic, shattering, catalyzing.
Then I go to sleep instead.
My plane leaves in about 19 hours. It's coming to a close, this patchwork adventure in American living. This has been my longest period in the States in 2 years, more than double any prior trip. It's been good. It's been hard. It's been rewarding. It's been reaffirming, both towards the Darkness, and the Light. It's been fattening. It's been naughty. But not as naughty as we might have liked.
I am right now at Sarah and Jason's in Brooklyn. Tomorrow we are going to a premier Brooklyn brunch spot, near the Museum. Then I go to Soho to pick up my bags. I might take the Subway to the airport, spend $8 rather than $48. I dragged my stuff here from Boston, so I reckon I can wrangle it, especially if I get a little help on the first descent in Soho.
I don't feel ready to go back. I can muster, when I pause to do so, a yearning for the streets of Jerusalem, and certain bearded faces, and certain unbearded faces. But I don't feel ready to return to the religious life, to a context of pray-ers and believers and self-abnegation.
I don't know what I feel ready for.
But I guess no one's asking how I feel. Tomorrow is coming.
Then I go to sleep instead.
My plane leaves in about 19 hours. It's coming to a close, this patchwork adventure in American living. This has been my longest period in the States in 2 years, more than double any prior trip. It's been good. It's been hard. It's been rewarding. It's been reaffirming, both towards the Darkness, and the Light. It's been fattening. It's been naughty. But not as naughty as we might have liked.
I am right now at Sarah and Jason's in Brooklyn. Tomorrow we are going to a premier Brooklyn brunch spot, near the Museum. Then I go to Soho to pick up my bags. I might take the Subway to the airport, spend $8 rather than $48. I dragged my stuff here from Boston, so I reckon I can wrangle it, especially if I get a little help on the first descent in Soho.
I don't feel ready to go back. I can muster, when I pause to do so, a yearning for the streets of Jerusalem, and certain bearded faces, and certain unbearded faces. But I don't feel ready to return to the religious life, to a context of pray-ers and believers and self-abnegation.
I don't know what I feel ready for.
But I guess no one's asking how I feel. Tomorrow is coming.
3 comments:
hey shimshon.. your buddy shaul here is meeting up at central park, 3 pm for free concerts. give me a call?
206 369 0534, I also go back tomorrow- JFKat 11am also leaving form brooklynn... wanna carpool?
love you... even if sleep overrides our deepest wishes to share- may we be blessed with the expression in one form or another...
Stu, why did you not tell me you were going to be in the area???? We could have gotten together. As you know, I live in Dartmouth, which is within easy striking distance of Providence AND Boston. Bad form! You can't really count on me to get to your page in a timely manner, so we both missed out. You have my email, kid. Please let me know next time!
Simon
Sorry I missed you, I was in France! I'm in Brooklyn now a lot of the time.
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