atonement

last night, after Yom Kippur maariv (evening services), I was doing a little praying out of Likutei Tefilot, a book of prayers inspired by (of course) the work of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, written by his disciple, Rabbi Natan (Reb Noson, not to be confused with Rav Natan, the head fo my Yeshiva). I was reading a rather emotional piece, crying out how small and feeble I was, a putrid lump, a clod of dirt... and was crying heavily. I reached a section that said something to the effect of: If I was truly aware of even a tiny bit of the thousands of myriads of misdeeds that I have committed, there would be no place on earth that would be able to contain my screams. Something like that. I wept even harder, and felt the tears spilling down my face, dripping onto the book and lectern below me.

Then suddenly the dripping felt too intense for tears. I looked down, and watched huge drops of blood splashing down from my left nostril. I had been crying so hard that my nose busted open. A small puddle was on the lectern, and two drops had splattered onto the book. I grabbed the bandanna from my pocket, and ended up smearing the blood all over the book, which is now a gory testament to the scale of my emotions this Yom Kippur.

And, yep. That's the tale for now. Huh. I've felt a little far from this blogging effort lately. I dunno if it's just me, or if it's a sense of a lack of a worshipful public, or what. Anyway, we are on break now for the next 3 weeks, which include Sukkot and Simchat Torah. I am hoping to visit some of my cousins, travel a bit up north, and spend lots of time with a certain young lady with whom I have been spending lots of time of late.

More on Yom Kippur later (no promises).