Today is the 17th of Tamuz, a half-day fast. Today is the day when Moses came down from the mountain, saw the orgiastic Golden Calf revelry, and smashed the two tablets. Today is the day when the Romans breached the wall of Jerusalem, and some say the Babylonians did so as well. Today begins the Three Weeks, a time of mourning leading up to Tisha b'Av (the 9th day of the month of Av- a full-day fast in full August heat), when the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, in both the Babylonian and Roman eras.
No partying, no gussying up, no carnivale, no rock n' roll. Heat of the summer. Feeling the tension as the 9th of Av looms closer and closer.
Anyway, Tamuz the girl, who knows these things, because she, like Tamuz the month, was named after the Assyrian diety (correct me if i'm wrong), mentioned in a recent comment that I should be breakin' down the walls.
So I was thinking-- that's the Tikkun (the Spiritual repair) of this fast day, and the Three Weeks. Today is the day to break down the walls, in that Pink Floyd way, that imprison us. Break down the walls that we have built for ourselves by living in a certain way, by clinging to useless beliefs, by holding grudges, obsessions, fetishes, habits, harmful desires. Inside of those walls is a Temple to Crap that we have built, by not forgiving others for past wrongs, by noth forgiving ourselves for being ourselves, by refusing to rewrite a life story that has become stale and ugly, by drinkin' smokin' cussin' screwing' fightin' watchin' TV too much, by harboring hatred or indifference or just stupid ideas on topics about which we really don't know shit.
I have been thinking a lot about nostalgia and over-sentimentalizing. I do both of those a lot. I find myself remembering moments, tiny little scenes from the past-- a scent on the wind, a small patch of dirt around a tree by the side of the road-- and suddenly am flung back into a yearning reverie for a time and a place which, while beautiful in its time, is not necessarily any better than the moment in which I am presently. I do this all the time. And with music, and photos, and just laying around 'membering. Building a Temple to the past, and sending my energy towards worship therein.
As I began typing the above paragraph, I overheard Donniel Karl and his brother learning on the other side of the room. The Netivot Shalom (commentary on the Torah) brings a story about the prophet Jeremiah, who is crying, and a man comes and asks him what the big deal is. It turns out that he is crying, not over the destruction of the past, but in hope of the glory of the future, of the greatness that can be built on the ruins of what has been torn down.
So break down the walls!!! Look yourself in the eye today (this requires a mirror) and choose SOMETHING upon which to wage war (like Lebanon, for example (ahem- i meant something inside or yourself)). Dedicate these three weeks to recognizing that, however wonderful you and your life might be, there is an even greater and fuller joy and wholeness that can be reached by improving on yourself. Can't find anything less than perfect? Ask your wife. Ask your kids. Ask your boss or employees. It's in there. Find that something, and work on it fiercely these three weeks. And when Tisha b'Av comes, just tear that Temple of Crap the hell down. Tear it down.
Only by obliterating the false temples in our hearts, the misguided perspectives, the harmful living patterns, only by waging war on that which holds us back, can we clear a space for the real Temple, the Mishkan- dwelling place of God's glory.
I ain't talking about the Dome of the Rock! I'm talking about a Temple inside, a little birdhouse in your soul.... we gotta tear out the garbage, and make a place in our hearts for holiness, compassion, righteousness, redemption, healing, joy.
You gotta do it.
And the Good Lord knows like crazy that I sure as heck do.
Let the destruction begin.
No partying, no gussying up, no carnivale, no rock n' roll. Heat of the summer. Feeling the tension as the 9th of Av looms closer and closer.
Anyway, Tamuz the girl, who knows these things, because she, like Tamuz the month, was named after the Assyrian diety (correct me if i'm wrong), mentioned in a recent comment that I should be breakin' down the walls.
So I was thinking-- that's the Tikkun (the Spiritual repair) of this fast day, and the Three Weeks. Today is the day to break down the walls, in that Pink Floyd way, that imprison us. Break down the walls that we have built for ourselves by living in a certain way, by clinging to useless beliefs, by holding grudges, obsessions, fetishes, habits, harmful desires. Inside of those walls is a Temple to Crap that we have built, by not forgiving others for past wrongs, by noth forgiving ourselves for being ourselves, by refusing to rewrite a life story that has become stale and ugly, by drinkin' smokin' cussin' screwing' fightin' watchin' TV too much, by harboring hatred or indifference or just stupid ideas on topics about which we really don't know shit.
I have been thinking a lot about nostalgia and over-sentimentalizing. I do both of those a lot. I find myself remembering moments, tiny little scenes from the past-- a scent on the wind, a small patch of dirt around a tree by the side of the road-- and suddenly am flung back into a yearning reverie for a time and a place which, while beautiful in its time, is not necessarily any better than the moment in which I am presently. I do this all the time. And with music, and photos, and just laying around 'membering. Building a Temple to the past, and sending my energy towards worship therein.
As I began typing the above paragraph, I overheard Donniel Karl and his brother learning on the other side of the room. The Netivot Shalom (commentary on the Torah) brings a story about the prophet Jeremiah, who is crying, and a man comes and asks him what the big deal is. It turns out that he is crying, not over the destruction of the past, but in hope of the glory of the future, of the greatness that can be built on the ruins of what has been torn down.
So break down the walls!!! Look yourself in the eye today (this requires a mirror) and choose SOMETHING upon which to wage war (like Lebanon, for example (ahem- i meant something inside or yourself)). Dedicate these three weeks to recognizing that, however wonderful you and your life might be, there is an even greater and fuller joy and wholeness that can be reached by improving on yourself. Can't find anything less than perfect? Ask your wife. Ask your kids. Ask your boss or employees. It's in there. Find that something, and work on it fiercely these three weeks. And when Tisha b'Av comes, just tear that Temple of Crap the hell down. Tear it down.
Only by obliterating the false temples in our hearts, the misguided perspectives, the harmful living patterns, only by waging war on that which holds us back, can we clear a space for the real Temple, the Mishkan- dwelling place of God's glory.
I ain't talking about the Dome of the Rock! I'm talking about a Temple inside, a little birdhouse in your soul.... we gotta tear out the garbage, and make a place in our hearts for holiness, compassion, righteousness, redemption, healing, joy.
You gotta do it.
And the Good Lord knows like crazy that I sure as heck do.
Let the destruction begin.
6 comments:
Thanks for your insights on a day, both historically and currently, much in need of some breaking-out of boxes! Looking forward to the next post of this nature = mitzvah goreret mitzvah!
wow!! this sure does provoke deep thought (even in me)... good stuff
But why does Jeremiah cry? Is there more to the story? Does the man tell him to quit the tears and grab a shovel?
My co-worker's house burnt down last year. He lost everything. Records, photos, lifelong collecions of stuff.. everything! Living not far away, I went to his smoking rubble later in the day, expecting to see lots of tears. Instead, there he was, drinking a ginger ale and talking to the fire dept, smiling and laughing (yeah, sounds suspicous, i know).
I told him how sorry I was, that if it happenned to me I'd have to continue on living another life.
He said, "hey man, its just stuff." He said he hadn't felt so free in all of his life. And I see him everyday. And he's still just as happy.
Here's another....
Photographs.
.... do we really need pictures in order to remember things? I have 15 years worth of undeveloped film. When I see the bag, and think about taking it to the lab, I think about whats on those rolls. I think I can remember just about every frame. So whats the point? So I never do it. But I never throw them away.
But I never throw anything away.
Do you think thats my wall today?
eye.... can't remember my login/Pass. But yeah, thats me in the post above.. tommymeade, stu's good friend who isn't religious, so forgive me if I sounded like I was giving Jeremiah a hard time... I always wrestle with these kinds of stories, I take them too literally and can't get past it. Anyhow.. on the subject.. I've uploaded some funny clips.
check out genisis
http://homepage.mac.com/tmeade/alanpartrige/FileSharing22.html
thanks tommy for the insights. i can relate having my computer crashing and losing lots of digital photos that were not backed up or printed. and so what? these are just material or microchip processed versions of our own internal world. we can do without them. in fact we will, 'cause last i checked you can't take them to the world to come...
stu, thanks for this piece. truly inspiring. i love when you can take a piece of jewish history/writing/story/etc and find a personal spiritual insight for growth. i love how we can relate to destruction in a positive sense. no need to continue to spill tears, only those of not actualizing our future potential and purpose.
on a metaphysical level, i wonder if the enemies of israel, summoned by some power inside (or elsewhere) are conscious of these dates or if there is some cosmic reason why tragedy strikes the children of israel precisely at this time in the year. is this a coincidence that bombs are dropping in haifa (and as i have just heard in tiveria) during the three weeks from 17th of Tamuz until (chas va chalilla) tisha b'av??
I was just caught by the main source of the 17th of Tamuz mourning being the breaching of the walls...
the breaching of the border.. definitely rings symbolic... And when last year our struggle pulsing the nation was ourselves and how choose to define those lines, here we have what seems on the surface a unifying threat from outside...
I find the revealed intensity of our spiritual tradition stongly affects my own sense of how to observe these three weeks, and the reality that looms on the border makes more precious and rich to me the prescribed observances that offer connection and solidarity with our people, as I find myself in otherwise foreign waters....
missin you guys at home... shalom u'bitachon aleinu... shauldavid
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