This is the stele of Merneptah. A stele is a big stone. Merneptah used to be the Pharaoh. In Egypt. His stele, which records many of his great military victories, is in the Cairo Museum in Cairo, just behind and to the right of the colossal smiling statues of Akhenaten's parents (whose names I don't remember). Here's an image of Merneptah, enjoying some pleasant time with foreigners:
The most notable feature of the Merneptah Stele, which dates about 1220 BCE, is that it is the only mention in Egyptian texts of Israel. It says something like, "Israel is desolated, his seed is not; Palestine is become a widow for Egypt."
We learned about this thing back in the first HUC year in Cincinnati, in a Bible/History sort of class. I never thought I would see it, never really thought about it. But there I was, in the Cairo Museum a few weeks ago, and there it was. Somehow, on first glance, I knew. And you know, friends? I just started all crying and stuff right there in the Cairo Museum, and sending text messages to folks in Israel--
Because I was, standing there, all living, vital and filled with Israelitic seed, and Merneptah, well, he was hanging out in the mummy room upstairs, all--friggin--dead:
It was a real moment of pride. And identification. Merneptah can take his skinny elbow and kiss my Jew tuchas. For real.----> so here's a good time to apologize to Brian Bernius, who was our teacher back there in Cincinnati. We gave that poor cat a really hard time, and complained a lot about him, and acted in a totally unprotorabbinic and unrighteous way. Shame on us, and thanks to Jeffrey Weill for keeping me honest.
Next topic...
some bad words ahead, read at your own risk:
So anyway, I was out in the woods tonite, crying up to heaven, and was thinking about all these sweet Jews here in the Land who are working hard to better themselves and serve God and serve the community, yearning to find and give love, who try, really try to be good people, who are conscious and conscientious and kind and caring and know how to party without acting like shmucks. I was thinking about that, and I started thinking about Merneptah, and his misplaced sense of pride and victory, all giddy about wiping us out three thousand two hundred and twenty years ago, and then I thought, you know what?
Fuck all those liberal conspiracy freaks on line who blame EVERYTHING BAD IN THE WORLD on the Jewish and/or Zionist conspiracy. They're all assholes and hatemongers, and even if it was TRUE (which maybe it is), that Herzl and the World Zionist Congress and the Mossad and Jerry Seinfeld DID orchestrate 9/11 and conspire with the Nazis and cancel Twin Peaks a season too early, it's got nothing to do with me, or Dr. B_., or Jen Webster, or my momma or my sister or any of the Yids that I know (except maybe Chazarmaveth and Leon Rosen).
No more than you or I are responsible for what the Bush Administration is doing in Cuba-- I voted for Kerry, fer Chrissakes-- you did too, right?? right?
Ahem. Just a little rant. And if you gou around reading that drivel and believing it and spending more time talking crap about the Sharon cabal than you spend saying "Good Shabbes" to your friends and loved ones, then SHAME ON YOU.
Merneptah is dead,
and someday every punk blogger with a bad attitude will be too.
And I'm not complaining about the Holocaust Cartoon Contest-- that's a hell of a lot funnier than riots that kill Christians in Nigeria over a Danish comic strip. I'm just talking about liberal conspiracy-mongering that is more hateful than fundamentalism.
Uh, yeah.
3 comments:
Great writing.
liberal conspiracy-mongering. sorry friend, but i need a more clear definition. could you expand?
First of all, Twin Peaks spun out of control or perhaps I stopped smoking pot a season too early.
Second of all, I'm gald you have come around to the light. There are too many self loathing, "liberal" minded Jews in the world. The same people who buy into conspircy theory are the same ones who can't see the real issues behind the muslim cartoons and continue to be PC about murdeous muslims. Those that turn a check and won't confront evil are not the solution to the 4th Reich currently active in Iran and around the arab world.
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